(Or build houses every year together.) Seriously. Try it. It’s a beautiful thing.
My husband and I enjoy slow dancing most days, sometimes just for 60 seconds, but usually for one full song, and mostly just moving our feet in a small area. It is a time to block everything else out of our minds and just focus on the comfort and joy of being totally present with each other. We just started this daily dancing this year. We love it!
Some couples may enjoy tango, swing, salsa, jazz or waltz. How about ballet?
Hey, it’s okay to even do it in front of the children or with the children. I saw my parents kind of dance one time and it made me feel really happy.
Couples who pray together stay together.
Couples who sing together stay together.
Couples who dance together stay together.
Couples who build houses together stay together.
Couples who exchange backrubs stay together.
Do you feel too shy or too awkward to dance or sing or pray together? It might be worth giving it a try. What do you like to do together that helps you feel connected and totally present with each other? Our spouses should get our very best attention. This relationship is foundational.
You can still connect with a spouse who seems to have a difficult time giving you the kind of attention you would like. Just love them. Just accept them. Your relationship with them is whatever happens in your own head, in your thoughts and feelings and actions toward them. If your spouse is gone during the day or away for weeks at a time, or even deceased, you still have a relationship with them. It happens in your head and heart. It happens in your actions, regardless of what they are doing. Does that feel confusing to you? Try it. Try loving them no matter what they are doing. You are not doing it because they deserve it or because they loved you first. You are doing it because you are a loving person and because it feels good to love. God loves them, even when they are misbehaving. Love never fails. Don’t try to change them, just love them. It’s good to tell them what your wants and needs are, but if they don’t fill your wants and needs, you are capable of loving them anyway. If your spouse is fighting with you or even withdrawing, it may be their way of saying “I’m hurting and I desperately want to connect. I just can’t figure out how to. Help me.”
You are a loving person. And loving others feels good.
Dancing together feels good, praying together feels good and singing together feels good. Exchanging daily backrubs feels good. Building houses together is fun!
Pick one and try it. You might just love it!