Look at anxiety with curiosity and no so much “seriosity”.
I led a discussion for a group of women. I was passionate about the subject matter and was enjoying the discussion when I asked a question which brought little response. I pushed the matter a little too much which seemed to make a few women feel uncomfortable. Afterwards I felt embarrassed! So, I chose to just allow myself to feel embarrassed. As a result, interestingly, the feeling had limited impact on me.
I have discovered that identifying an emotion and simply feeling it tends to shrink it. I wish I had learned this concept earlier in life. It really works!
Discomfort is a very normal part of the human experience. Our tolerance for discomfort is very low because modern life is so full of conveniences.
When we have some discomfort we think something is wrong. We think something must be wrong with us, so we seek to numb our feelings with some type of dopamine hit, such as over-working, over-teching, or over-eating.
Life is full of ways to temporarily comfort ourselves that end up having negative consequences. For example: over-eating causes health issues, over-teching causes social disconnect and lack of exercise and over-working causes stress.
Be willing to experience the discomfort of anxiety.
(I’m not talking about serious, diagnosed anxiety that requires professional assistance. But, even then, these concepts can be added to the help of professionals and medication, I promise!)
One time I was at an activity with a group of young mothers. As the only grandmother in attendance, I felt a little out of place. But I decided it was not a big deal; I decided to just feel the discomfort and be still. I decided to be a quiet support by making a few comments and mostly just enjoy the moment.
Feeling anxious may feel like a failure. “Failure” is an important part of success. It helps us learn and grow. It’s interesting how, when I become willing to experience an uncomfortable emotion, it tends to be less “scary”.
I like to think about it this way: The negative emotion is like a little puppy that I will allow to just follow me around for a while, if it needs to. Then, at some point, I’ll take a look at which thoughts caused the negative emotion and just find more useful, believable thoughts.
Again: look at anxiety with curiosity, not so much “seriosity”.
For example, you could think to yourself: “That is so interesting. I wonder why I feel so anxious.” or “Maybe it’s not anxiety, but just restlessness.”
Fighting anxiety tends to make it stronger. It might be trying to get your attention, like a child who is misbehaving. Give it a little compassionate attention, but don’t over-engage it!!
Smile at anxiety and maybe it will smile back. Call it’s bluff and it will back down.
Anxiety thinks it is protecting you, as if worrying about it will keep the bad thing from happening. I learned this from life coach, Natalie Clay.
Emotions have been described as vibrations caused by chemicals and hormones released in response to thoughts.
Our thoughts come from the way we perceive ourselves, others and our environment. If we view emotions as vibrations, perhaps we will be less concerned about them. Not so scary!
I don’t know exactly how it works, but everything has energy, including us humans, and everything vibrates at different frequencies. It’s kind of fascinating to consider. Have you ever noticed how the energy in the room changes when someone gets upset?
You totally get to choose what you think about. You get to choose what to focus on.
Change the vibration by thinking and doing something different.
(Hey, even foods have vibrations, so consider eating foods that have better vibrations.)
Also, consider how exercise affects your vibrations.
Anxiety is very similar to excitement. Whether anxious or excited, breathing deeply will tend to even things out.
Ride the wave instead of hiding it deep inside. Look at anxiety as fuel that will push you into action. Let the energy empower you. Breathe into it. Allow the vibration to just be there. Be your true self, your best self. You truly are inherently incredible and capable!
Emotions can pile up until they spill out, like putting too much gasoline into a car or too much air into a balloon.
“Remember, emotional health is not the experience of being perpetually calm and happy all of the time. It is the experience of allowing a range of emotions” (Brianna Wiest, medium.com).
Allow yourself to feel the anxiety fully, then it will shift. I promise! Try it! You can acknowledge emotions without drowning in them. Also, Exercise! Exercise! Exercise! Please Exercise!
Take a look at your deep-seated beliefs.
These are hard to discover and often begin in childhood as a reaction to something confusing or frightening. The best way I know to figure out what your deep-seated beliefs are is just to ask yourself, and ask God, then listen for the answer. Deep-seated beliefs are so real to us that they simply drive everything we think, feel and do — everything!
So, spend some time clarifying what you believe. Are you harboring a false belief?
Example:
As a very young girl I decided that I have to be perfect and I have to hurry. These beliefs have been useful in some ways and very difficult in other ways. When I started to believe, deeply, that failure is an important part of success, it changed everything for me. And when I started to believe that most of the time I really don’t have to hurry, a lot of pressure was taken off of me. Isn’t that interesting?
Perhaps a little anxiety has some benefits:
— -It awakens our awareness.
— -It can remind us to breathe more deeply.
— -It can protect us from danger.
— -It causes us to consider possible outcomes.
— -It improves performance.
— -It can increase our empathy and social skills.
— -It promotes change and growth.
— -It reminds us to “move-it”! Take action!
— -It notifies us to rethink our thinking.
— -It can cause us to improve our nutrition and exercise.
— -It makes us grateful for the times we feel more peaceful.
— -It can promote creativity.
Try looking at anxiety from a different angle.
Get some exercise, nutrition and good thoughts.